Manifesto for Shluts
In order to insure that men abide by the religious and moral laws regarding sex we hereby issue the following rules for men regarding the use of their penises:
1) All men must provide a prescription when buying condoms at a drugstore
2) The purchase of Viagra or any other drug used for erectile dysfunction is restricted by the laws of Christianity and Judaism
3) Any non-religious man may only use such drugs for procreation purposes. (He must produce a note from his moral advisor for this purpose)
4) Scrotums will be examined and sperm counts will be tested to determine if men can actually fertilize women during intercourse
5) Use of contraceptive devices for any other reason other than procreation may be prohibited by state law
6) The new word to describe men who don’t follow these rules will be “Shlut”
Gerri Gewirtz (3/13/12)
